57 Softball Puns That Are a Total Hit

Softball season has this weird power over me where I start thinking in puns involuntarily. Like I’ll be at the grocery store and see pickles and my brain goes “caught between the aisles” and I just stand there disappointed in myself. Anyway, I’ve been stockpiling these for months and it’s time to unleash them on someone other than my increasingly annoyed group chat.

1. The Classic Opener

We’re having a ball out here!

(I know, I know. But you can’t start a softball pun list without this one. It’s the law.)

2. For the Flirty Catcher

You’re a real catch. No, seriously, get behind the plate, we need you in the lineup.

3.

This team is un-bat-able.

4. The One I’m Actually Proud Of

My friend asked why I keep dating softball players. I told her it’s because they always know how to handle a relationship, they understand that sometimes you gotta sacrifice to move things forward. She didn’t get it. If you know what a sacrifice bunt is, you’re my people.

5.

Why did the softball player bring a ladder to the game? She heard the stakes were high and the pop flies were higher.

6.

Let’s touch base later.

Honestly this one works better as an actual text you send after practice. Just drop it casually. No explanation. Let it sit there.

7-9. The Triple Play

• I’m all about that base.
• I’m feeling extra base-ic today.
• Don’t get too far off base with these puns, oh wait, too late.

10.

Don’t get caught in a pickle!

For the non-softball people somehow reading this: a pickle is when a runner gets trapped between two bases and the fielders are tossing the ball back and forth trying to tag them out. It’s the funniest thing in softball. Pure chaos energy. Also a solid life metaphor, tbh.

11. Pitch Perfect

You’ve got a lot of nerve to pitch that idea to the coach. Especially with that changeup.

12.

What do you call a softball team that just lost their sponsor? A diamond in the rough.

13.

Let’s slide into victory. Or at least slide into the DMs of that cute shortstop on the other team.

14.

This game is a real hit.

15. The Umpire Strikes Back

Okay this one I genuinely love: You’re not umpire-fect, but you make the right calls when it matters.

Send that to your team captain. I dare you. Screenshot the response. It’ll either be a heart emoji or you’ll get removed from the group chat, and honestly both outcomes are funny.

16.

“I told my teammate she should try pitching.”

“What’d she say?”

“She said she’d give it her best pitch.”

“…That’s the same word.”

“Yeah, that’s kinda the whole thing with pitching puns.”

17.

We’re going to strike out the competition. Or at least strike out at the plate three times and then cry in the dugout. One of the two.

18.

Don’t be a foul sport. Or at least keep your foul balls on this side of the parking lot, someone’s windshield can’t take another hit.

19. This One’s Terrible and I Don’t Care

Our team’s spirit is un-glove-able!

Yeah. I wrote that. I’m not sorry. (I’m a little sorry.)

20.

This game is going to be a grand slam!

21.

Why did the softball player go to the bank? To make sure her checks cleared the bases.

22. For the Niche Nerds

Our pitcher’s got a nasty riseball, it’s really an uprising.

If you don’t play fastpitch you probably don’t know that a riseball is a pitch that spins upward and looks like it defies gravity. It’s the pitch that makes batters look foolish. This pun is mid but the pitch is elite.

23.

We’re going to rally together. Seventh inning. Down by four. You know the vibe.

24-26. The Outfield Cluster

• I’m outstanding in my field. Literally. Left field. It’s hot out here.
• We’re going to have a field day!
• Why is center field the loneliest position? Because you’re always stuck in the middle of everything but somehow out of the loop.

27.

This game is going to be a walk in the park.

A walk. In the park. Because walks happen in the… okay you got it. Moving on.

28.

I’m so excited I could pitch a tent at the field and just live there.

29. Genuinely Good One Alert

My coach told me I need to work on my framing. I said, “Behind the plate or on Instagram?” She was not amused. For those outside the game: framing is when a catcher subtly moves their glove to make a borderline pitch look like a strike. It’s an art form. Catchers don’t get enough credit and I will die on this mound, hill. I mean hill.

30.

No ifs, ands, or bats.

31.

Why did the softball player break up with her boyfriend? He had too many errors and couldn’t commit. To the play. Couldn’t commit to the play.

32.

This team is always ready to step up to the plate. Also we eat a lot, so we step up to plates in general.

33. The Stretch (Literally a Stretch)

Our first baseman is really a-head of the game.

I’m reaching here. Like a first baseman stretching for a bad throw. See? Even my apology is a softball reference. I can’t stop.

34.

You always go to bat for me and that’s why you’re my cleanup hitter in life.

35.

What do you call a game that’s full of surprises? A real curveball.

36.

We’re gonna make a run for it.

37. Another One I’m Proud Of

Sidebar: does anyone else’s team have a player who insists on doing an elaborate bat flip after a single? Like girl, you hit it to the five-six hole and barely beat the throw. Put the bat down. Anyway, she told me she’s “just adding some flair to the diamond.” I said, “The only thing you’re adding is time to the game.” She’s my best friend and I love her but someone had to say it.

38.

Don’t be a slow-pitch. Hustle up.

39-41. The Bad Pun Speed Round

These are all objectively terrible and I’m including every single one:

• Our pitcher has arm-azing talent! (gross)
• We’re always in-inning! (barely a pun)
• We really mitt each other when we’re apart. (I’m sorry)

42.

This game is going to be a blast. And by blast I mean I’m gonna hit one over the fence. Or foul it into the net fourteen times. We’ll see.

43. The Deep Cut

Why did the slapper switch to power hitting? She was tired of beating things out and wanted to go the distance.

This one’s for my fastpitch people. If you know what a slapper is, we’re automatically friends. Left-handed, running start, drag bunt or soft hit to the left side, it’s basically softball’s version of chaos theory.

44.

Keep your eye on the ball. Or at least keep your eye on the snack schedule. Katie was supposed to bring oranges last week and she brought granola bars. Granola bars, Katie.

45.

Safe at home is where I wanna be. Both in softball and in life at 9 PM on a Tuesday.

46.

We’re going to clear the bases and clear our names after that embarrassing loss last week.

47. Instagram Caption Ready

Came here to hit dingers and chew bubblegum. And I’m all out of bubblegum. 💛🥎

(Not really a pun but it belongs on every softball post ever made.)

48.

Why did the softball team go to therapy? Too many unresolved errors.

49.

This team never goes foul. Except Sarah. Sarah always pulls it foul. Every. Single. Time.

50. The Half-Century Mark

Fifty puns in and I’m still on the mound. Haven’t been pulled yet. My pitch count is way up but the bullpen’s empty so here we go.

51.

Our opponents are out of their league. Literally, they signed up for the wrong division.

52.

I told my dad I got a golden sombrero last game. He said, “That sounds fancy!” No, Dad. It means I struck out four times. It’s the opposite of fancy. It’s the least fancy thing that can happen to a person.

(If you knew what a golden sombrero was without me explaining, you’ve experienced pain.)

53.

We’re going to give them a run for their money.

54-56. Text Messages You Should Absolutely Send

• “Hey, just wanted to touch base 😏⚾”
• “You really knocked it out of the park today and I’m not even talking about softball”
• “I’d never throw you a curveball 💛”

57.

What’s a softball player’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good pitch.

58. Niche Alert

Our drop ball is so filthy it needs a shower. The spin on that thing breaks harder than my will to do conditioning after practice.

The drop ball is fastpitch’s nastiest weapon, a pitch that looks like it’s coming in belt-high and then falls off a cliff right as you swing. If you’ve ever whiffed at one, you know the shame. It’s a very specific, very personal shame.

59.

We’re gonna pitch a fit if we lose this one.

60.

This game is a real gem, just like the diamond we play on.

61. The Worst One I’ve Written Today

I tried to write a pun about the designated player rule and honestly I couldn’t make it work. So here’s what I came up with: our DP always delivers. That’s it. That’s the pun. The DP (designated player, for you slowpitch folks) always delivers. I’m not proud. But I’m posting it.

62.

Why did the scorekeeper break up with the umpire? She was tired of him never being safe at home.

63.

A league of its own. That movie. That team. This pun. Ngl, if you haven’t rewatched it recently, go do that instead of reading pun #64.

64.

We’re going to score big tonight and I’m not talking about the post-game pizza order. (Okay I’m also talking about the pizza order.)

65.

She’s on the ball. Always. Every game. Meanwhile I’m in right field making daisy chains until someone hits one my way.

Look, if you made it through all sixty-something of these, you’re either a softball lifer or you’re procrastinating something important. Either way, you’re my kind of person. Now go touch some grass. Preferably on a diamond.