Golf Puns: 60 Tee-rific Jokes That Are Up to Par
Golf is the only sport where you can spend five hours outside, walk six miles, and somehow end up angrier than when you started.
Volleyball is the only sport where you can hit someone in the face with a ball and everyone just calls it a “free ball” and moves on. I’ve been playing since middle school (badly, but consistently) and the pun potential in this sport is genuinely underrated. The terminology alone, kill, dig, ace, shank, sounds like a crime drama.
Having a volley good time!
Yeah, I know. We’re getting this one out of the way early because literally every volleyball Instagram account has posted this at least once. It’s the “live laugh love” of volleyball puns. I’m not above it.
Why did the volleyball player become a waiter? Because they were already great at serving.
Our team has great court-age.
I told my setter I was feeling down, and she said “don’t worry, I’ll always lift you up.” And honestly? That’s what a good set is. That’s the whole metaphor. Setters are the emotional support players of volleyball and I’ll die on that hill. Anyway, she really knew how to set the mood.
We’re digging this game!
(Perfect caption for a photo of your libero eating floor. You’re welcome.)
You’ve got a spike-tacular attitude! Look, portmanteau puns are lazy. I know that. You know that. I’m including it because my teammate Jess used to say this unironically before every match and it’s burned into my memory.
Let’s spike things up a little.
What’s a volleyball player’s favorite kind of party? A block party.
What kind of phone case do they use? Something that blocks everything.
What’s their favorite movie genre? Blockbusters.
(I could do this all day. I won’t. But I could.)
This game is set to be amazing.
“Hey, did you see that last play?”
“Yeah, it was a smash hit.”
Feeling ace-tastic π
That’s it. That’s the Instagram caption. Pair it with a blurry action shot where you can’t even tell what’s happening and you’ve got yourself a post.
Why do volleyball players make terrible secret agents? They always let things slip through the net.
Our opponents looked net-tled by our skills. “Nettled” is an actual word meaning irritated, and the fact that it has “net” right in it? Chef’s kiss. This is the kind of pun that rewards people who read actual books. Or at least have a decent vocabulary app.
Don’t net-get about practice!
(This is terrible. I’m sorry. Moving on.)
We’re setting our sights on victory!
Why did the volleyball player bring string to the game? To tie up the match.
We’re bumping up the competition this season and ngl, it feels good.
Side note, can we talk about how “bump” is the least cool-sounding word for a fundamental skill? Like, basketball has “crossover” and “fadeaway.” We have “bump.” We also call a bad pass a “shank,” which at least sounds dangerous. Anyway.
It’s net impossible to beat us!
I asked my coach what the key to a good float serve is. He said, “just let it fly and hope it doesn’t come back.” Honestly that’s also my approach to texting my ex. The serve advice was better though, at least floaters have no spin.
This team is un-beata-ball!
(Groan. I know. But picture it on a poster board at a high school game and tell me it doesn’t work.)
Time to serve up some justice on the court.
What do you call a volleyball player who’s also a comedian? Someone with killer timing.
Because a “kill” is when you score on an attack. And comedic timing. And, okay, if I have to explain it this much, maybe it’s not as clever as I thought. But I’m keeping it because I laughed.
Why do volleyball players love the morning? Because every day starts with a new rotation.
Our libero is so good, she’s basically a free agent.
If you don’t know, “libero” comes from the Italian word for “free.” They wear a different jersey, they can’t attack above the net, and they’re usually the scrappiest, most terrifying person on the court. They’re basically the designated chaos goblin. The pun is subtle but it’s there.
Let’s rally together! π
What did the volleyball say to the hand? “Stop hitting on me.”
I tried to write a volleyball love song but I kept getting carried away.
(A “carry” is an illegal contact. This pun is a stretch and I accept that.)
You’re on the ball today π₯
Why did the volleyball player go to therapy? Too many issues with commitment, kept getting called for a lift.
Okay this one requires explanation: a “lift” is when you hold the ball too long during contact. It’s a fault. Commitment issues. Holding on too long. GET IT? This might be the best pun on this entire list and I’m a little mad that only volleyball players will appreciate it.
Don’t foul around, play hard!
What do volleyball players eat for lunch? Spike-y tuna rolls.
That’s bad. That’s really bad. I’m not even gonna defend it.
We’re digging for a win and we’re not stopping until we find one.
My relationship with volleyball is complicated. We keep going in circles. Six rotations, to be exact.
Why are volleyball players so good at geometry? They understand all the angles.
I told my friend I was addicted to volleyball. She said “that’s your serve-ing problem.”
Beach volleyball players have it rough. Sandy conditions, harsh sun, and they still dig it.
Let’s block out all distractions and focus!
Why did the volleyball player open a breakfast restaurant? She already had the perfect pancake.
A pancake is when you slide your hand flat on the floor so the ball bounces off it. It’s one of the most satisfying plays in the sport and it looks ridiculous to anyone who doesn’t know what’s happening. Just a person slapping the ground and celebrating.
“How was the volleyball tournament?”
“Intense. But we pulled through in the third set.”
“Sounds like you really set your mind to it.”
“…please stop.”
You’ve been served. βοΈπ
(Caption. Text. Snapchat. Literally any context. Timeless.)
The ball hit the antenna and the ref called it out. My coach said “that’s where we draw the line.” Which is literally what an antenna does, it marks the boundary of legal play. Coach puns are an underappreciated art form tbh.
Why don’t volleyball players ever get locked out? They always know how to pass.
This team is serving up some serious talent.
What’s a volleyball player’s favorite type of music? Swing. Because of the arm swing. During hitting. I’ll see myself out.
We really hit that one out of the park. Wait, wrong sport. We really hit that one… over the net. Less catchy but more accurate.
Why did the middle blocker break up with the setter? She felt like she was always being used for a quick one.
(A “quick” or “one” is a fast-tempo set to the middle. This is a top-tier volleyball pun and I will not apologize for it.)
Real talk, I’m at pun 48 and I’m starting to feel like my brain is a ball machine that’s running low. But we push through. This is the deep middle of the list where things get weird.
What did the volleyball net say during the argument? “I’m staying out of this, I’m just here to divide.”
Fifty puns in and I’m still passing the vibe check.
Volleyball players make great friends. They really know how to keep things up.
She didn’t just hit it, she tooled the block. In life and in volleyball, sometimes you gotta use other people’s hands to get where you’re going.
(“Tooling” is when you intentionally hit the ball off the blocker’s hands so it goes out of bounds. It’s devious and brilliant and undersold as a skill.)
Why do volleyball players love going to the beach? They’re already good at playing in the sand and throwing shade.
I can’t help it, I just find volleyball very a-peeling. Wait, that’s bananas. I find it very a-SPIKING. No. Okay. I find it riveting. Let’s just move on.
Volleyball is just competitive not-letting-the-ball-touch-the-floor. That’s it. That’s the sport. We just dressed it up with terminology so it sounds athletic.
What’s a volleyball player’s favorite day of the week? Set-urday.
“I think our team needs better communication.”
“MINE! MINE! MINE!”
“…that’s not what I meant.”
Every volleyball player just felt this in their soul.
When two players go up at the net and push the ball against each other, it’s called a joust. So technically, volleyball players are modern-day knights. We’ve been jousting this whole time and nobody gave us any armor.
Why do I keep making volleyball puns? I dunno. I guess I just can’t help but keep coming back for another set.
Kinda want to end on something profound but honestly my brain is fried and that last one was decent enough. If you made it through all 60, you’re either a volleyball obsessive or you’re procrastinating something important. Either way, same team. π
Golf is the only sport where you can spend five hours outside, walk six miles, and somehow end up angrier than when you started.
Hockey is the only sport where you can lose teeth, get into a fight, and still call it a Wednesday.
Tennis is the only sport where “love” means you’re losing, and honestly that tells you everything you need to know about it.
Baseball is the only sport where you can talk about stealing and sacrifice in the same sentence and nobody calls the cops.
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