61 Clown Puns That Are No Joke (Just Kidding)

Clowns are the only profession where showing up to work drunk and falling down is technically a performance review. I’ve been sitting on these puns for way too long, and some of them have been fermenting in a way that’s either impressive or concerning. Probably both.

1. The Classic Opener

I’m just clowning around! Yeah, I know. We’re starting basic. Consider it a warm-up, like stretching before a marathon of increasingly questionable wordplay.

2. Nose Pun #1 (of Many, Sorry)

Why did the clown get promoted? He had a real nose for comedy.

3.

Let’s face it, clowns are the best.

(Get it? Face? Painted face? I’m not gonna hold your hand through all of these.)

4. The One I’m Genuinely Proud Of

I told my therapist I was feeling a little under the big top today. She asked if I meant “under the weather.” I said no, I meant there are literally elephants involved. This is a real problem. Anyway, the pun works on both levels and I think about it more than is healthy.

5.

Don’t get your big shoes in a twist.

6. Rapid-Fire Round

• I’m red-y for anything!
• That joke really honked me off.
• He’s got a lot of sole in his performance.

None of these are my best work, but they’re efficient. Like a clown car. Speaking of which,

7.

I’m just trying to keep my head above water in this tiny car.

Fourteen of us in here. Gerald won’t stop elbowing me. The horn is stuck. This is fine.

8.

Why do clowns make terrible secret agents? Everything they do is a pretty big top secret.

9. This One’s an Instagram Caption, You’re Welcome

Just trying to paint a smile on your face 🎨🤡

10.

He’s a real shoe-in for the funniest clown award.

Size 47, specifically.

11.

Don’t wig out, it’s just a joke!

12. The Deep Cut

My friend called himself a clown-noisseur of comedy. I told him that’s not a word. He told me neither is “unfunny” but I keep proving it exists. Fair enough, honestly.

13.

I’m feeling a little tent-ative about this new routine.

This one’s terrible. I know it’s terrible. I’m including it because every listicle needs a pun that makes you physically wince, and I believe in serving the full emotional spectrum.

14.

What do you call a controversial clown? Clown-troversial.

Okay, THAT one’s worse. Moving on.

15. The One That Works as a Text to Your Friend

“I’m not clowning, I really love my job”, sent to my boss at 2am. No response yet. It’s been four days.

16.

He’s always trying to put on a happy face, even when he’s sad.

This one stopped being a pun and started being an existential observation about the human condition. Emmett Kelly built an entire career on this premise, the hobo clown who never smiled. Look up “Weary Willie” sometime. Actually devastating stuff for a guy in smeared greasepaint.

17.

My jokes are so good, they’re a real gag reflex.

18. Another Cluster Because I Can’t Stop

• He’s got a lot of character… and a lot of paint.
• He’s got a lot of nerve… and a red nose.
• He’s got a lot of bounce in his step… and his giant shoes.

I realize I just did the same structure three times. I don’t care. The parallelism is the joke now.

19.

Don’t mime your own business!

(Yes, I know mimes and clowns are different. Tell that to my uncle who got kicked out of a Ringling show for arguing this exact point in 2014.)

20. One of My Actual Favorites

I’m having a ball juggling these ideas.

Three balls, actually. Sometimes five if I’m showing off. The ideas, I mean. And also the balls. This pun has layers and I won’t apologize for any of them.

21.

What’s a clown’s favorite part of a story? The punchline.

22.

He really knows how to make up a good story.

23.

This is no laughing matter… or is it? (It is. It’s always a laughing matter. That’s literally the job description.)

24. The Niche One That Only Theater Kids Will Get

A clown walks into an audition and says, “I trained at the Lecoq school in Paris.” The director says, “Great, show me your neutral mask work.” The clown pulls out a cream pie. “This IS my neutral.”

If you know Jacques Lecoq’s pedagogical approach to physical theater, this is hilarious. If you don’t, I just wasted fifteen seconds of your life. Either way, I regret nothing.

25.

I’m just trying to make ends meet… with my juggling balls.

26.

Why don’t clowns ever win at poker? They always show their hand. Also their flower squirts water on the cards. It’s a whole thing.

27. Send This One to Someone You Love

You’re the big top to my circus 🎪

28.

He’s a real clown-damental part of the show.

I’m sorry. I am genuinely sorry for that one.

29.

Quick sidebar: have you ever noticed that clown college is one of the only educational institutions where getting a pie in the face is both the exam AND the diploma? Ringling Bros. actually ran a legitimate clown college from 1968 to 1997. The acceptance rate was lower than some Ivy League schools. I think about this constantly.

30.

I’m just trying to make a spectacle of myself.

31. The Greasepaint Gambit

He’s got a lot of greasepaint on his hands.

Shady? Yes. But in the auguste tradition, messy hands are basically a résumé. If you know the difference between an auguste, a whiteface, and a tramp clown, congratulations, you’re either a circus historian or you’ve been down a very specific Wikipedia rabbit hole at 3am. Respect either way.

32.

Don’t burst my bubble, but I think I’m funny.

33.

What do you call a clown who works at a bakery? A cream puff professional.

That’s a stretch. I know that’s a stretch.

34. The One I Want on a T-Shirt

Just trying to get my act together 🤡

This works as a life motto, an Instagram caption, AND an excuse for why I haven’t done laundry in two weeks. Triple threat.

35.

Why did the clown go to school? To improve his class act.

36.

He’s got a lot of flair… and a lot of floppy flowers.

37.

“I told my friend I wanted to be a clown,” I said. “That’s funny,” she replied. “I haven’t even started yet.”

38. The Obscure One for Commedia Nerds

Why did Arlecchino break up with Colombina? She said he was too much of a zanni to take seriously.

If you don’t know the zanni stock characters from commedia dell’arte, basically the OG clowns of 16th-century Italian theater, this pun does absolutely nothing for you. And tbh I’m okay with that. Not every pun is for everyone.

39.

I’m just trying to get a grip on these slippery pies.

40. Quick Cluster

• What do clowns eat for breakfast? Funny-side up eggs.
• What’s a clown’s favorite candy? Snickers. (Because they’re always getting laughed at.)

41.

That’s a pretty big top-ic to discuss.

Ngl, I debated cutting this one. It survived by a thread. A very colorful, polka-dotted thread.

42.

Why do clowns never get lonely? Because they always come in packs. Like sardines. In a tiny, tiny car.

43. I Love This One More Than It Deserves

I asked the clown how his day was going. He said, “Oh, you know. Just the usual circus-tances.” He delivered it completely deadpan. Which is impressive when your face is literally painted into a permanent grin. This pun is a C+ at best but the delivery in my head is Oscar-worthy.

44.

He’s always trying to get a rise out of the audience.

45.

What did the clown say during the job interview? “I’ve got twenty years of experience and great references, but mostly I just want to make people smile.” And then his pants fell down.

46.

I’m just trying to make a point… with my giant foam finger.

47. The Slapstick Scholar

Here’s one for the Grock fans (all twelve of you): Why was the Swiss clown always early? Because his timing was impeccable.

Grock was arguably the most famous clown of the early 20th century. His real name was Adrien Wettach. He played like 15 instruments. The man was kinda insane in the best way.

48.

Why don’t clowns ever get stressed? They always know how to juggle their responsibilities.

49.

He’s got a lot of appeal… especially with the kids.

(A-peel? Like a banana? Like a banana peel? Like slipping on a, okay, this one only works if you squint. Hard.)

50. The Halfway Point Celebration

We made it to 50. My brain is starting to feel like a clown car, way too much crammed in, something’s honking, and I’m pretty sure one of these puns is just standing on another pun’s shoulders wearing a trench coat. Onward.

51.

What do you call a clown who’s also a detective? Inspector Seltzer.

52.

I tried to write a serious essay about clowns but I couldn’t keep a straight face.

53. Another Text-Worthy One

me: I’m fine
also me: *honk honk* 🤡

54.

Why did the clown break up with the magician? She kept disappearing on him.

55.

He’s a real clown-ditioned performer. Years of training. Decades of pie-to-face reps.

This pun is held together with duct tape and wishful thinking.

56. The Existential One

A clown walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?” The clown says, “That’s just the makeup.” The bartender says, “No, I mean, ” and the clown says, “I know what you meant.”

This isn’t even really a pun anymore. It’s a short film. I think I might be losing it.

57.

Why do clowns make great friends? They’re always up for a gag.

58.

I’m not clowning, I’m expressing myself through the ancient art of physical comedy and also this rubber chicken.

59. Almost Done Cluster

• What’s a clown’s favorite season? Spring. (Loaded flowers, obviously.)
• What’s a clown’s least favorite weather? Hail. Hard to unicycle in hail.
• What’s a clown’s blood type? B positive. Always.

60.

Why was the clown’s autobiography so long? He had a lot of material. Three steamer trunks of it, actually. And a rubber chicken with sentimental value.

61. Bonus Because I Can’t Stop

What did one clown shoe say to the other? “Nothing, we’re shoes, we can’t talk. But if we could, we’d probably complain about the mileage.”

I started this list thinking I’d run out of clown puns by #30. Turns out the well is bottomless. Like the pockets on those trousers. Like the car. Like my need for validation through wordplay. Honk honk. 🤡