62 Teeth Puns That Are Hard to Sink Your Teeth Into

Teeth are the only bones you clean every day (yes I know they’re not technically bones, please don’t email me about it) and yet most people treat them like an afterthought until something goes horribly wrong. I’ve been sitting on this collection of teeth puns for an unreasonable amount of time. Some of them are genuinely clever. Some of them should be pulled. Just like teeth. See? We’re already doing this.

1. The Oath

The tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.

2. Emotional Support Molars

Why did the dentist always feel overwhelmed? She needed molar support.

This one’s been rattling around in my head for weeks and honestly I think it’s perfect. It works on every level. “Molar support” sounds exactly like “moral support” and dentists are genuinely overworked. I’d put this on a greeting card for my dentist if that weren’t a deeply weird thing to do.

3.

Canine help you with anything today?

4.

What’s the best way to understand dental problems from the inside? It gives you an incisor’s view.

5. The Philosopher’s Appointment

My oral surgeon told me I was gaining wisdom, one tooth at a time. Then he charged me $3,000 to take it away.

6.

Don’t brush off your dental hygiene. (Look, this one’s doing the bare minimum and I respect that about it.)

7.

“Dental is not just a river in Egypt!”, my dentist, who thinks he’s funnier than he is. I’m stealing his material anyway.

8.

Don’t be at a floss for words. Just floss.

9. The Molar-coaster

Going to the dentist is a real molar-coaster of emotions. You start anxious, briefly feel relief, then they hand you the bill and you plummet again. I genuinely think this is one of the best portmanteaus I’ve ever come up with and I don’t care if someone else thought of it first, I arrived here independently and I’m claiming it.

10.

• Plaque is a real plague.
• Beware the plaque attack!
• You could say it’s a plaque-demic. (I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.)

11.

Gum on, get happy!

12.

Sometimes you just have to take the root canal route. It’s not scenic, but you get there.

13.

Got my dental crown today. Feeling like royalty tbh.

That one works as an Instagram caption and I won’t apologize for it. Send it to your friend who just got dental work done. They’ll either love you or block you.

14. The Good Filling

I’ve got a good filling about this.

Sent this to my sister after her cavity appointment. She left me on read for six hours.

15.

Why did the orthodontist become a motivational speaker? Her whole philosophy was “embrace the brace.”

16.

Retainer your smile. That’s it. That’s the pun. Put it on a poster in every orthodontist’s office and retire.

17.

My new veneers are veneer and dear to my heart.

(This is a stretch and I know it. “Veneer” doing the heavy lifting of “very near” is… generous. But I’m keeping it.)

18. Sidebar About Dentist Small Talk

Can we talk for a second about how dentists ask you questions while their entire hand is in your mouth? What am I supposed to do with “so have you been flossing regularly?” when you’ve got a mirror, a suction tube, and three fingers between my molars? Anyway.

19.

Chews wisely.

20.

What did the beaver say when told to stop chewing on the furniture? Gnaw way!

21.

My flossophy is simple: floss every day, lie to your dentist about it every six months.

22. Bite Me

“Bite me, you’re right!” said the vampire, conceding the argument. I like this one because it’s dumb in exactly the right proportions.

23.

I passed that exam by the skin of my teeth. Which is called cementum, if you wanna get technical. (See? Niche dental knowledge AND a pun. You’re welcome.)

24.

Fighting tooth and nail for better dental coverage since 2019.

25.

I have a sweet tooth for dental jokes and I refuse to get it filled.

26.

My grandpa’s a bit long in the tooth, but still sharp.

27. Brush Hour

It’s brush hour in this house. 7 AM and 9 PM, non-negotiable. My kids hate me for it. They’ll thank me when they’re forty and still have all their teeth.

28.

I need to brush up on my dental knowledge before the hygiene exam.

“Brush up” is one of those phrases that was BORN for teeth puns and yet somehow doesn’t get used enough.

29.

I’m ready to get my teeth into this new project.

30.

• Let’s chew the fat about dental hygiene.
• He grinded his teeth and then grinned.
• When the dentist says “open wide,” you just gotta grin and bear it.

31. The Crown Jewel

My new crown is the crown jewel of my smile. I paid enough for it to literally be a jewel. A small diamond would’ve been cheaper. American dental care, everybody.

32.

Building bridges, the dental kind, not the metaphorical kind. Though I guess both are about closing gaps.

33.

An abscess is an absolute mess. (Okay this one is genuinely terrible. Like offensively bad. It barely counts as wordplay. But if you’ve ever had an abscess, you know the statement is also just… true.)

34.

That was an incisor-ful observation.

35. The One I’m Most Proud Of

I told my friend I was just bicuspid-ing my time until my next cleaning. She stared at me for a full five seconds before it landed. That delay? That’s how you know a pun is working. Bicuspids are the premolars, those two-cusped teeth between your canines and molars, and “biding my time” is right there if you squint. This is peak wordplay and I will die on this hill.

36.

Cavity, it’s the law!

37.

He’s got a real canine-do attitude about his dental care. Annoyingly positive. Flosses twice a day and wants everyone to know about it.

38.

My hygienist is a high genius when it comes to cleanings. (Ngl this pun only works if you say it fast and kind of mumble the middle part.)

39. Quick Tangent About Flossing

I actually started flossing regularly in 2026 after years of lying about it and the difference is insane. My gums don’t bleed anymore. This isn’t a pun, it’s a public service announcement. Floss your teeth. Okay back to the jokes.

40.

My enamel is so strong it’s practically animal.

41.

What did the orthodontist call herself? An orthodox tooth straightener.

42.

Keep your teeth white, you’re doing it right. ✨

Instagram caption energy. Use it freely. I don’t need credit. (I mean I’d LIKE credit but I know how the internet works.)

43.

I told my dentist about my malocclusion and he said “yeah, that’s a mal-function of the bite.” Then he charged me for the consultation. Comedy isn’t free apparently.

44.

Oh, dental dam!

That’s it. You get it or you don’t.

45. For the Dental Nerds

Gingivitis needs more than just ginger vites., This one’s for the periodontists in the room. All three of you. The “gingiv-” prefix comes from the Latin “gingiva” meaning gum tissue, and if you already knew that, congratulations, you’re exactly the kind of person who reads a pun blog post all the way to number 45.

46.

Don’t let your pulp get too exposed, pup!

(Dental pulp is the soft tissue inside your tooth containing nerves and blood vessels. This pun is technically educational. You’re learning.)

47.

• Healthy teeth, wealthy smile.
• Sharp teeth, sharp mind.
• Strong teeth can’t be wrong.

These three are giving motivational poster at a pediatric dentist’s office and I’m not mad about it.

48.

A smile is worth a thousand miles.

49.

My ex-ray showed I needed a filling. My current ray is none of your business.

50. The Tooth Fairy Defense

I believe in the tooth fairy. She’s a real gem. Also she’s the only entity that gives you cash money for losing a body part, which is kinda metal when you think about it.

51.

Keen on clean teeth? Same. It’s not a personality but it’s close.

52.

What did the confused doctor say? “Oral hygiene is important for aural health too, somehow.” (This works better spoken aloud. Most puns do. That’s their whole thing.)

53.

Just had to bite the bullet and go to the dentist. The bullet was metaphorical. The Novocaine was not.

54.

I have no o-clue-sion about my bite alignment.

(Okay. OKAY. This is maybe the worst one on the list. “Occlusion” into “no clue” is a war crime against wordplay. I’m including it because I believe in transparency. And because I already wrote it and I’m not a quitter.)

55.

My gingival tissues aren’t exactly jingle bells this holiday season. They’re more like… silent night. Because they’re inflamed. And I should see a periodontist. This pun got away from me.

56.

Dental implants are very im-plant-ant. Important. They’re important.

(That’s barely a pun. That’s a pronunciation issue. Moving on.)

57. The Extraction Attraction

I heard about a dental fair where the main event was pulling teeth. They called it the extraction attraction. Honestly? I’d go. I’d pay admission. I’ve watched worse things on YouTube at 2 AM.

58.

Periodontal disease? Period, don’t tell anyone.

59.

Fluoride: take the floor ride to stronger enamel. (This one sounds like a tagline for a dental-themed amusement park and idk maybe that should exist?)

60.

Getting a wisdom tooth extraction? That requires some serious wisdom traction.

61.

Don’t test me. I’m a dentist.

62. The Final Filling

You know what, here’s one more for the road because I can’t help myself:

My teeth are never dull. They’re a doll. ✨

Send that to someone. Screenshot it. Put it in your story. I don’t care. Just remember to floss.