60 Colin Mochrie Puns That Are Improv-ably Funny

Colin Mochrie is one of those performers where you watch him for five minutes and go “oh, so THAT’S what funny looks like.” The man has been doing improv longer than most of us have been doing anything, and he makes it look effortless every single time. He’s also, let’s be honest, an incredibly punnable human being. The name, the head, the Canadian-ness, the decades of Whose Line material, it’s all just sitting there waiting.

So here we go. I’ve been collecting these for an embarrassing amount of time.

1. The Obvious Opener

His comedy is beyond Mochrie.

(Yeah, we’re starting there. Get it out of the way early. Mochrie/mockery. You knew it was coming.)

2. Colin the shots

Nobody else on that Whose Line stage was Colin the shots like he was. Not even close.

3.

What do you call Colin Mochrie’s approach to improv? A bald move.

4.

He’s always a-head of the competition. Always. The man has a head start in every sense of the word, and I’m not even sorry about that one.

5. The Hair Trilogy

• No hair, but all the flair.
• His career really took off, just like his hairline.
• Hair-raisingly funny, despite having nothing to raise.

Look, you can’t write colin mochrie puns without addressing the elephant in the room. Or rather, the absolute chrome dome in the room. He’s joked about it more than anyone, so I feel zero guilt.

6.

I told my friend Colin Mochrie was the best improv performer alive and she said “that’s improv-able to verify.” I said no, it’s improv-able to BEAT.

7.

He’s got a shiny disposition.

8. The Canadian Content Block

Legally required to include these, I think. It’s like CanCon regulations but for pun blogs.

• He’s a real Colin-ial gem, Canada’s finest export after maple syrup.
• His humor is maple-y good.
• He’s worth a loonie and a toonie in laughs, minimum.

9.

He’s got a poutine of jokes, always serving up something cheesy and it shouldn’t work but it absolutely does. Every time.

10.

Why doesn’t Colin Mochrie need a script? Because he never misses a line, even when there isn’t one.

11.

His wit is Mochrie-nificent.

(I know. I KNOW. The Mochrie-portmanteau puns are low-hanging fruit. But this one sounds enough like “magnificent” that I’m keeping it.)

12.

He’s a smooth operator. In every sense.

13. The One I’m Actually Proud Of

Colin Mochrie doesn’t do improv. Improv does Colin Mochrie. The scenes just show up and arrange themselves around him like he’s got some kind of gravitational comedy field. The man is a Mochrie-vel of modern entertainment and I will not be taking questions.

14.

He’s quite the Colin-ary comedian, always cooking up something fresh.

15.

Quick sidebar: if you’ve never watched the “Whose Line” compilation where Colin breaks Ryan Stiles, just go find it. Ryan literally cannot hold it together. It’s the best thing on the internet and I’ve seen a lot of the internet.

16.

What’s Colin’s favorite type of humor? Off the cuff. Off the script. Off the rails. Basically off everything except the stage.

17.

He’s got the audience in stitches without a single stitch of script.

18. The Ryan Stiles Dependency Pun

“Hey, do Colin and Ryan ever perform separately?”
“Sure, but it’s like watching peanut butter without jelly. Technically fine. Fundamentally wrong.”
“So they’re co-Colin-dependent?”
“Get out.”

19.

He makes a scene. In the best way possible. It’s literally his job.

20.

His timing is Mochrie-cal. This is a terrible pun. I’m sorry. Moving on.

21.

If Colin Mochrie ever opened a restaurant, the menu would just say “trust me” and every dish would be different every night. The man is the omakase of comedy.

22. The Hoedown

He’s always ready for a hoedown, even though you can tell from his face every single time that he’d rather be doing literally anything else. That visible dread IS the comedy. The man hoe-downs but he never hoe-gives-up.

Okay that was rough. That was genuinely rough. I apologize.

23.

Colin Mochrie: a true improv-er. Always getting better. Never peaking. Somehow.

24.

What do you call Colin’s stage presence? Mochrie-fying. Is it electrifying? Terrifying? Gratifying? Yes.

25.

He’s got a Mochrie-tude of fans and every single one of them has a favorite scene they’ll make you watch at a party.

26. Scenes From a Hat (Pun Edition)

“Things you can say about Colin Mochrie but not your coworker.”

He’s completely unscripted and I love him for it.

27.

Tbh he’s the only performer I’ve ever seen who can make silence funnier than most people’s best material. The man pauses like a Mochrie-stro conducting an orchestra of awkwardness.

28.

His improv is like jazz, except people actually enjoy it.

29. The Props Pun

You gotta give Colin props. Literally. That’s one of the games. But also figuratively because he turns pool noodles into comedy gold and that’s a skill they don’t teach in school.

30.

He’s got a clear head for comedy.

31.

Why did Colin Mochrie go to Second City? Because first city wasn’t funny enough. (This is bad. This is objectively bad. I’m including it because I already typed it and I believe in commitment.)

32.

I texted my friend “Colin Mochrie is a Mochrie-nary legend” and she just replied “blocked.” Fair.

33. The Kilmarnock Deep Cut

Did you know Colin was born in Kilmarnock, Scotland? Moved to Canada at age four. So technically he’s a Scot who became Canada’s greatest comedic export. He really did cross the pond to make a Mochrie of everyone else’s comedy careers.

If you knew the Kilmarnock thing without looking it up, we’re friends now. That’s just how this works.

34.

He’s on a roll every night. No script, no net, no hair, no problem.

35.

What’s Colin Mochrie’s skin care routine? Improv-isation. He just wings it and hopes for the best. Seems to work.

36.

He’s got a Mochrie-sive impact on the improv world. Like, genuinely. The number of performers who cite him as an influence is staggering. This isn’t even a joke, I just wanted to say it, but “Mochrie-sive” is sitting right there so it counts.

37. Instagram Caption Energy

These are the ones you screenshot and send to your comedy-nerd friends at 1 AM:

• Colin my name when you need a laugh 📞
• Bald and beautiful and funnier than you 💀
• Living that unscripted life ✨

38.

Colin Mochrie doesn’t wing it. He eagle-soars it.

39.

I’ve been watching Whose Line clips for research and it’s been four hours. I have a problem. The problem is that Colin Mochrie is too funny and YouTube autoplay knows my weaknesses.

40. The Deb McGrath Appreciation Pun

Colin’s been married to Deb McGrath since 1989. That’s decades of living with someone who’s also a professional comedian. Their house must be exhausting. Their arguments probably have better structure than most sitcoms. She really drew the lucky Colin the lottery.

41.

He puts the “pro” in “improv” and the “imp” in… also improv. He’s a professional imp. This tracks.

42.

Ngl, if Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles ever stop performing together, I will take it personally.

43. The Greatest Hits Bit

“And now, the Greatest Hits of Colin Mochrie puns!”
Track 1: “Bald Is Beautiful (And Also Hilarious)”
Track 2: “Don’t Make a Mochrie of Me”
Track 3: “Colin Me Maybe”
Track 4: “I Will Always Love Hue” (about that green screen suit incident)

If you don’t remember the green screen suit, go look it up immediately. It’s the hardest anyone has ever laughed on television and I’m including the time someone fell on live news.

44.

He’s a Mochrie-tastic performer. Sorry. That one’s lazy. But it’s true so it stays.

45.

What do you call it when Colin does physical comedy? A head-liner performance.

46.

His talent is un-Mochrie-lievable. (This is the worst one on the list and I know it. I looked at it for thirty seconds and decided to publish it anyway because sometimes you just have to live with your choices.)

47. The Weird Newscasters Pun

Colin anchoring the news desk on Weird Newscasters is the closest thing to performance art that basic cable ever produced. The man reads fake headlines with the gravitas of a Pulitzer winner. It’s an-Colin-ceivable how good he is at it.

48.

He’s been in the game so long, he’s not just experienced, he’s Colin-seasoned.

49.

You know what I respect most? The man never phones it in. Decades of performing and he still commits to every single bit like it’s his first night. That’s not a pun, that’s just real. Okay fine, he’s got un-Colin-ditional love for the craft. There.

50. The Stretch Zone

We’re entering the stretch zone now. These barely qualify. I acknowledge this.

Colin Mochrie? More like Colin Mock-everyone-in-the-room-rie.

Yeah. Told you.

51.

He’s got a Mochrie-velous way with words. Even the ones he’s making up on the spot. ESPECIALLY the ones he’s making up on the spot.

52.

If improv were a sport, Colin would be in the hall of fame, the hall of mirrors, and the hall of “how did he think of that so fast.” He’d be in every hall. He’s a hall-of-Colin.

53.

Whose Line Is It Anyway? Colin’s. It’s always Colin’s line. That’s the answer. Show’s over.

54. The Sound Effects Pun

Watching Colin do Sound Effects with audience members who have NO idea what they’re doing is like watching a master chef work with ingredients from a gas station. He makes it work every time. The man is sound-proof. Bad sounds cannot defeat him.

55.

He’s got more bits than a computer and none of them are scripted. He’s running on pure Colin-puting power.

I’m gonna go lie down after that one.

56.

What’s the difference between Colin Mochrie and a comedian with a script? About ten thousand more laughs per show.

57. The Party Quirks Deep Cut

Colin doing Party Quirks is basically method acting for an alternate universe where everyone is insane and he’s the only normal person. Except he’s also insane. It’s insanity all the way down. He’s the Colin-el of chaos.

58.

Send this to your friend who loves Whose Line: “Are you a Colin Mochrie bit? Because you came out of nowhere and now I can’t stop laughing.”

59.

He’s not just funny. He’s Colin-sistently funny. For decades. Without a script. That’s kinda terrifying when you think about it.

60. The Closer

They say comedy is tragedy plus time. Colin Mochrie is comedy plus no preparation, no script, no hair, and no mercy. He’s a Mochrie-ing glory.

I had “a-Mochrie-zing grace” as a backup closer but even I have limits. Barely.