60 Game Of Thrones Puns That Are Throne-Out There

I’ve been rewatching the entire series for the third time (yes, including season 8, I’m not a coward) and at this point my brain just automatically converts every line of dialogue into a pun. It’s a disease. My friends have stopped texting me back about it, so now you get to suffer instead.

1. The Classic Opener

Why did the Lannister always pay his debts? Because he didn’t want to be lion about his finances.

Look, we had to start here. It’s the law.

2. Daenerys really knows how to dragon her feet.

Six seasons to get to Westeros. SIX. I’ve had Amazon packages arrive faster from warehouses that don’t exist yet.

3. The Jon Snow Special

Jon Snow might know nothing, but he certainly snows how to lead. I’m genuinely proud of this one, which tells you everything about where my standards are at.

4.

Arya Stark is no one to mess with.

5. Rapid Fire Round

• Cersei’s got a real wine-ing attitude.
• Tyrion’s wit is always on pointeven when he’s off-pint.
• Between the two of them, the Lannister family goes through more goblets than a medieval Costco.

6.

What’s a Stark’s favorite type of art? A stark contrast.

Yeah. That’s the whole pun. Moving on.

7. This One Hurts

After we learned Hodor’s tragic backstory, I think we can all agree: his story was truly door-able. I typed that and felt my soul leave my body for a second, but I’m keeping it in.

8.

Don’t make a Baratheon angry, or you’ll feel their fury.

9.

I told my friend I was binge-watching GoT again and she said “aren’t you throne with that by now?” and honestly? No. Never.

10. The Greyjoy Financial Advisor

Why did the Greyjoy get a boat loan? He needed to kraken open some new opportunities. This is one of my favorites because it works on like three levels if you think about the Greyjoy economic model being entirely based on piracy. They’re basically the worst venture capitalists in Westeros.

11.

Valyrian steel swords are always cutting edge.

12.

Bran’s always raven about the past. Can’t take that kid anywhere without him zoning out and narrating someone’s trauma.

13. Instagram Caption Energy

I’m snow excited for House of the Dragon season 3 ❄️🐉

(Go ahead. Use it. I won’t charge you.)

14.

The Tyrells are always growing strong in the garden of power. Their whole deal was basically “what if a flower was also a political dynasty” and honestly it worked until it very suddenly didn’t.

15. The Worst One So Far

This show is a Wall lot of fun.

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

16.

Jaime Lannister was a real hand-some fellow. Emphasis on the past tense. And the hand tense.

17.

Sansa really sewed up her destiny, from stitching dresses to stitching together the entire North. Character development you can measure in thread count.

18. A Brief Tangent

Can we talk about how every house motto sounds like a CrossFit gym’s Instagram bio? “Growing Strong.” “We Do Not Sow.” “Ours Is the Fury.” I’d absolutely buy a tank top that says “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken” and wear it to a spin class. Anyway.

19.

Don’t trust a Frey, they’re always crossing you.

The bridge pun AND the betrayal pun. Two for one. This is elite game of thrones puns territory right here and I will not be taking questions.

20.

“Hey, how’s your new job on the Night’s Watch?”
“It’s going okay, but the hours are dark and the promotion path is basically nonexistent.”
“Sounds like a wall-to-wall nightmare.”

21.

Sitting on the Iron Throne is a real pain in the butt.

Literally. The thing is made of swords. OSHA would have a field day in the Red Keep.

22. Gendry Appreciation Post

Gendry’s a real steel worker, forging his own path. This man rowed a boat for three seasons off-screen and nobody checked on him. Not once. The most neglected cardio routine in television history.

23.

The Martells are truly unbowed by their enemies.

24. Spymaster Cluster

• Varys is always spinning a web of secrets.
• Littlefinger always had a little plan up his sleeve.
• Between the two of them, King’s Landing had more intelligence leaks than a government Slack channel.

25.

What do you call a Targaryen who’s bad at poker? A dragon loser.

That one’s trash and I know it. Moving on before anyone screenshots this.

26.

Jon Snow’s leadership was a bastard of a job, but he managed.

27. One of My Absolute Favorites

The Boltons are known for their sharp wit… and blades. “Our Blades Are Sharp” is such an underrated house motto. It’s not poetic, it’s not inspirational, it’s just a threat. Like putting “I bite” on your business card. I respect it enormously.

28.

Daenerys is a real mother of a leader. 🐉🐉🐉

(Another free Instagram caption. You’re welcome.)

29.

My friend asked if I wanted to watch something other than GoT. I said I’d rather Dorne my sorrows in another rewatch.

Is “Dorne” a stretch for “drown”? Absolutely. Do I care? Not even a little.

30. The Nerd Corner

Maester Aemon really had a blind spot for his family legacy. If you know, you know, the man was literally blind AND chose to ignore his Targaryen bloodline for decades. Double wordplay. I deserve a trophy for this one tbh.

31.

The Night’s Watch oath says you’ll wear no crowns and win no glory. Basically the job description for every middle manager I’ve ever had.

32.

I’m raven mad about this show!

33. The Davos Special

Ser Davos really nailed his loyalty to Stannis. Well. More like he got his nails removed for his loyalty to Stannis. Davos Seaworth lost his fingertips and STILL said “yeah I’ll keep working for you,” which is more commitment than I’ve shown to any job, ever.

34.

What did the Hound say at the restaurant? “Every chicken in this room is mine.”

Not technically a pun but I’m including it because it’s the hardest I’ve ever laughed at a scene involving poultry.

35.

Don’t be a wight about it, just enjoy the show.

36. Another Tangent Nobody Asked For

I just think it’s funny that “Game of Thrones” as a phrase has completely lost its original meaning. Like, nobody hears “game of thrones” and thinks about an actual game involving actual thrones. It’s been fully absorbed into the cultural vocabulary. You could name a chess tournament “Game of Thrones” in 2026 and people would be confused when there were no dragons. Okay, back to the puns.

37.

Daenerys’s dragons are so good at flying, they never wing it.

38.

“How was the Red Wedding?”
“Killer party.”

39. The Deep Cut

Euron Greyjoy’s whole personality was basically anchor management issues. Niche? Yes. Proud of it? Extremely.

40.

The Arryns always aim as high as honor in their dealings. And then they throw people out of a very high door. So. Consistent branding at least.

41.

This show is so good, it’s fire. Fire and blood, specifically.

42. Text You’d Send Your Group Chat

“just started GoT again… already on season 3… send help or send wine, either way I’m living my best Cersei life 🍷”

43.

Melisandre really lit up every room she walked into. Sometimes literally. With people in the room. Who did not consent to being lit.

44. Obscure Pun Alert

Ser Barristan Selmy’s dismissal from the Kingsguard was a real knight-mare in terms of HR protocol. You can’t just fire a guy from a lifetime appointment because he’s old, that’s age discrimination, Joffrey.

45.

Theon’s whole arc was about finding his Reek-demption.

Okay THAT one I’m proud of. That’s clever. Admit it.

46.

Why did Samwell Tarly go to the Citadel? He wanted to book it out of danger.

47.

• The Mountain is hard to over-look.
• The Hound has a bone to pick with him.
• Cleganebowl was really a heated sibling rivalry.

48.

Brienne of Tarth really swore her way to the top. Oaths. I mean oaths. She swore oaths. Get your mind out of the gutter.

49.

Jorah Mormont’s love for Daenerys was truly un-bear-able to watch. (Bear Island. His family sigil is a bear. I promise this counts.)

50. The Halfway-ish Celebration

We’re deep in it now. If you’ve made it this far through these game of thrones puns, you’re either a true fan or you’re procrastinating something important. Either way, respect.

51.

Qyburn really raised the bar for unethical science. And also raised the Mountain. From the dead. Which was the unethical science in question.

52.

Hot Pie’s baking was the only rising action in the show that didn’t involve someone dying.

53. Deep Nerd Territory

The maesters forging their chain link by link is basically the Westerosi version of getting your LinkedIn certifications. “Oh, you have a Valyrian steel link? That’s cute, I have 47 endorsements for Microsoft Excel.”

54.

Olenna Tyrell’s confession scene was a real thorny situation for the Lannisters. The Queen of Thorns delivering the most savage deathbed confession in television? Iconic. She rose to the occasion one final time.

55.

Tormund’s crush on Brienne? Kinda wild-ling.

I’ll see myself out.

56.

The Iron Bank of Braavos always gets its due. Their interest rates are murder-ous.

57.

“What’s Podrick’s secret talent?”
“Nobody knows, but the reviews are Pod-itive.”

58.

Bronn fought his way from sellsword to lord. Talk about a castle-ing move. (That’s a chess pun AND a GoT pun and if you don’t appreciate it, ngl, I can’t help you.)

59. The Stretch That Barely Qualifies

Missandei was the most Grey-cious person in Daenerys’s inner circle.

Grey Worm. Gracious. Grey-cious. Look, they can’t all be winners.

60. The Grand Finale

After everything, the wars, the betrayals, the dragons, the questionable final season, who ended up on the throne? Bran the Broken. A kid in a wheelchair who spent most of the show staring into the middle distance like a philosophy major at a house party. And honestly? The biggest pun of all is that the whole game of thrones ended with someone who never wanted to play.

Anyway, I’ve got another rewatch to get back to. If you need me, I’ll be on my couch, emotionally compromised, sending “winter is coming” texts every time the weather drops below 60°F.