55 Thanksgiving Puns That Are Plucking Hilarious

Thanksgiving is the one holiday where being a glutton is basically patriotic, and I respect that deeply. It’s also the holiday most likely to make you groan, not just from overeating, but from the puns your uncle won’t stop making at the table. I figured I’d beat him to it this year.

1. The Classic Opener

Gobble ’til you wobble.

Look, I know. You’ve seen it on every fall-themed doormat at HomeGoods. But it’s the “Stairway to Heaven” of thanksgiving puns, overplayed and still kinda perfect.

2. Talk turkey to me.

3. The One I’m Genuinely Proud Of

What’s the difference between a turkey and a procrastinator? One gets basted, the other gets wasted, and both end up in hot water eventually.

I spent way too long on that one. Moving on.

4.

I told my cousin I was feeling fowl on Thanksgiving and she brought me DayQuil. I meant I was dressed as a turkey, Sarah.

5. Let’s get basted!

(This works as both a cooking instruction and a toast. Send it to your group chat at 11am on Thursday. Trust me.)

6-8. The Rapid-Fire Gourd Round

• Oh my gourd, it’s Thanksgiving!
• Life is gourd when you’re with family.
• I’m feeling pretty gourd about this year’s menu.

Yes, I used the same pun three ways. No, I don’t feel bad about it. Gourd puns are the backbone of this holiday and I won’t apologize.

9.

What’s up, gravy?

10. A Subtitle for This One Because It Deserves It: The Yam Slam

I yam what I yam. And what I yam is someone who’s about to eat three servings of candied sweet potatoes before anyone else sits down.

11.

Why did the cranberry turn red? Because it saw the turkey dressing.

I’m sorry. That’s terrible. I included it anyway because my daughter told it to me when she was seven and I think about it every November.

12.

You’re the breast.

Standalone Instagram caption material right there. White meat supremacy. (Of the poultry variety. Obviously.)

13.

“How was dinner?”
“I’m stuffed.”
“Like the turkey?”
“Exactly like the turkey. Somebody put me in the oven at 350 and let me sleep.”

14. Let’s get sauced.

Cranberry sauced, wine sauced, doesn’t matter. The outcome is the same: you’ll be asleep by 4pm.

15.

I’m so glad we cranberry together this Thanksgiving.

Okay quick tangent, does anyone else’s family have that one dish nobody actually likes but it keeps showing up every year because Great Aunt Linda “always brings it”? Ours is a Jello mold with shredded carrots in it. It’s been appearing since 1994. Nobody eats it. Linda doesn’t notice. Anyway.

16.

This meal is leg-endary.

Get it? Leg? Like a turkey leg? I’ll see myself out. (No I won’t. There are 44 more of these.)

17. Carve Out Some Time for This One

Let’s carve out some fun! And by fun I mean aggressively competitive board games after dinner while everyone’s too full to leave.

18.

I’m on a roll.

Dinner roll. That’s it. That’s the pun.

19.

Why did the turkey cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off.

20. One of My Favorites, Honestly

Let’s give ’em pumpkin to talk about.

This is the caption I’m using on every single photo from now through December 1st. It works for the pie, the decor, the latte, the entire aesthetic. Versatile queen of a pun.

21.

Don’t ruffle my feathers.

22.

You’re the apple of my pie.

(Send this to someone you love. Or someone you tolerate. Either way it’ll make them smile and that’s enough.)

23.

This meal is un-be-leaf-able!

Okay that one’s more of a fall pun than a Thanksgiving pun specifically but I’m counting it because the Venn diagram is basically a circle.

24-26. The Gratitude Cluster

• I’m feeling grate-ful. (Like a cheese grater. For the cheese on the mac and cheese. Work with me here.)
• I’m thankful for elastic waistbands.
• This Thanksgiving, let’s count our blessings, not our calories.

27.

I can feel it in my drumsticks.

Just the phrase. No context needed. Say it ominously while staring at the turkey and watch your family get uncomfortable.

28. The Niche History One

You know the Wampanoag people actually taught the Pilgrims how to cultivate corn using fish as fertilizer? So technically the first Thanksgiving side dish was… a little fishy.

That’s a stretch and also kind of educational. You’re welcome.

29.

Don’t be a chicken, eat more turkey!

30.

You’re the gravy to my mashed potatoes.

31. The One That Barely Qualifies

What did the sweet potato say to the marshmallow? “You’re so sweet, I could just casserole up next to you.”

That doesn’t… fully work. I know. I tried to make “curl” into “casserole” and the physics of the wordplay just aren’t there. Including it anyway because I already typed it and this is my blog.

32.

I’m ready to get my gobble on.

Side note: I looked up why it’s called a “turkey trot” and apparently the turkey trot was originally a ragtime dance from the early 1900s that was considered so scandalous it got banned in some cities. The Vatican condemned it. A DANCE NAMED AFTER A TURKEY. This holiday is wilder than we give it credit for.

33.

Why did the Pilgrim’s pants keep falling down? Because he wore his buckle on his hat.

That’s a dad joke, not a pun. I’m including it because the line between them is imaginary and I don’t respect borders on holidays.

34. This One Slaps and I Stand By It

Thanksgiving: the only day it’s socially acceptable to go back for thirds and then take a nap on someone else’s couch. No pun here. Just truth. Sometimes truth is funnier.

35.

It’s a corn-y holiday.

36.

What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky.

37.

I told my friend I was bringing a turducken and he said “that’s fowl on so many levels.” Literally three levels. That’s the whole point of a turducken.

38-40. The Pie Corner

I’m just here for the pie. (Aren’t we all, tbh.)

What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.

Pie-lgrims. That’s not a pun. That’s just two words I smashed together. But imagine if it was.

41.

You’re a cut above the rest.

Said while carving the turkey. Timing is everything.

42. The Deep Cut

Did you know Sarah Josepha Hale, the woman who wrote “Mary Had a Little Lamb”, spent 17 years campaigning to make Thanksgiving a national holiday? She finally convinced Lincoln in 1863. So really, we have a nursery rhyme author to thank-sgiving for all of this.

Ngl that’s my favorite pun in this entire list and most people won’t even get it. I don’t care.

43.

Feast mode: activated.

44.

“What are you thankful for this year?”
“Mostly that nobody brought up politics yet.”
“It’s only 2pm.”
“Exactly. We’re ahead of schedule.”

Not a pun. Don’t care. It’s real.

45.

I’m thankful for good company and even better gravy.

46. The Tryptophan Trilogy

Everyone always blames tryptophan for the post-Thanksgiving coma, but turkey doesn’t even have that much of it, cheddar cheese has more. You’re sleepy because you ate four plates. Anyway:

• I’m having a trip-tophan. (Terrible. Sorry.)
• This food coma is giving me night-carbs. (Worse. Somehow worse.)
• I’ve been feeling really drowsy, must be the wine, not the turkey. Wait, that’s just a fact.

47.

May your Thanksgiving be full of good cheer and even better beer.

48.

What did the turkey say to the computer? “Google, google.”

My eight-year-old nephew told me this one and genuinely thought he invented comedy. His confidence was inspiring.

49.

Butter believe I’m going back for seconds.

50. The Obscure Macy’s Parade One

Fun fact: in the early Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, they used to just release the helium balloons at the end and you could return the scraps for a reward. So basically Macy’s was littering competitively. You could say the whole thing was… inflated.

51.

I’m thankful for leftovers. The real holiday starts on Friday at midnight when you’re eating cold stuffing over the sink.

52.

What sound does a turkey’s phone make? Wing wing!

53-55. Instagram Caption Pack

Just take these. They’re free. You don’t even have to credit me (but you should).

• Feeling gravy 🍂
• Gobble gobble, baby
• Thick thighs, turkey pies 🦃

56.

What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.

57.

The turkey tried to start a band but could only play the drumsticks.

58. Gonna Be Honest, This One’s a Reach

Why don’t turkeys ever get invited to fancy dinners? Because they always show up with their giblets hanging out.

Kinda works? The word “giblets” is doing a lot of heavy lifting. I mainly just wanted to say giblets because it’s an inherently funny word.

59.

My family doesn’t do a prayer before Thanksgiving dinner. We just collectively sigh and say “please don’t bring up the election” and honestly that is its own form of grace.

60.

What role does the turkey play in the Thanksgiving band? The drumsticks.

Wait, I basically already did this one in #57. Whatever. It’s a good pun. It deserves two slots.

61.

Autumn leaves, but Thanksgiving stays with you. Mostly in your arteries.

62.

I asked my vegetarian friend what she eats on Thanksgiving and she said “my feelings, mostly.” That’s not a pun but it haunts me every year.

63. The Closer

What did the thankful bread roll say at the dinner table?

“I’m grateful for every moment I’ve been butter-ed up.”

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Go text someone “let’s give ’em pumpkin to talk about” and watch them either love you or block you. Either way, you’ve done something meaningful with your day.