61 Splatoon Puns That Are Ink-redibly Funny

Splatoon has ruined the word “ink” for me permanently. I can’t see it on a page without my brain doing the pun thing, and honestly I’ve stopped fighting it. Three games deep into this franchise and my vocabulary is just… compromised. Here’s what that looks like when I let it run unchecked.

1. The one that writes itself

Are you squidding me right now?

That’s it. That’s the text you send after your teammate walks off the edge in Clam Blitz. No notes.

2. Ink-security blanket

Feeling a bit ink-secure about my aim today. Like, genuinely. My Splattershot is giving “spray and pray” and not in the fun way.

3. Quick trio

• That match was ink-redible.
• Don’t get too ink-volved in mid, rotate!
• I’m ink-lined to agree, but only because you’re holding a Hydra Splatling.

4.

What’s a squid’s favorite writing utensil? An ink pen. Obviously. I know. I KNOW. But someone had to say it and I’d rather it be me so I can control the delivery.

5. This one I’m actually proud of

My friend asked me why I keep losing ranked matches. I told him it’s a splat-ter of life and death out there. He didn’t laugh. But here’s the thing, he mains Aerospray in Anarchy Series, so his opinion is automatically invalid.

6.

Splat-tacular. Just… as an adjective. For anything. Your outfit? Splat-tacular. That 99.9% to 0.1% turf war? Splat-tacular. The way I just missed that Splashdown? Tragically splat-tacular.

7.

“Don’t be such a squid-dy cat, just super jump to me!”

“Last time I super jumped to you, there were three Eliter mains waiting.”

“…Fair.”

8. Weapon puns (brace yourselves, wait, I’m not supposed to say that)

Okay so weapon puns are low-hanging fruit but I’m gonna pick every single one.

I’m a roller coaster of emotions when I play this game. Mostly because I main Dynamo Roller and every swing takes approximately four business days.

9.

Don’t be a blaster-d, play fair!

(I am not sorry. Clash Blaster users in Tower Control deserve this energy.)

10.

These dualies are a dual-ight to play with. Specifically Dualie Squelchers. If you know, you know. If you don’t, just trust that they’re the most satisfying dodge roll in gaming.

11. The brush-off

I’m feeling brushed up on my skills. Octobrush goes brrrrr.

12.

Why did the Slosher main break up with the Charger main? Because the relationship had no range compatibility. The Slosher wanted to get close and the Charger needed space.

That’s not even a pun, that’s just couples therapy for Splatoon players.

13.

I’m feeling brella-nt today!

(This one’s bad. I’m including it because Tenta Brella mains deserve at least one pun and this is all I’ve got.)

14.

My aim is always on charger-ge. Okay wait, that one doesn’t even work out loud. You have to read it. It’s a visual pun. Is that a thing? I’m making it a thing.

15. The Splatana situation

I told my squad I was gonna splatana-lyze the competition. They kicked me from the voice chat. Deserved, tbh.

16.

Let’s slosh our way to victory!

17. Turf War corner

We’re going to win this by a turf-slide! I’ve been sitting on this one for months waiting for the right context and you know what, a listicle is context enough.

18.

It’s a turf-y situation out there in S+. Every match feels like the game is personally trying to humble me.

19.

Don’t get caught in the cross-turf.

20. The Instagram caption tier

Paint the town red… or blue, or green, or whatever ink color the game assigns me that I didn’t ask for. Perfect caption. Works every time. Screenshot of the results screen, slap this on it, done.

21.

Stay fresh, cheese bags! 🦑

If you’ve never said this to someone leaving a party, are you even a Splatoon fan? Genuine question.

22.

Time to make a splash.

Boring? Maybe. But sometimes the classics work and I don’t need to reinvent the wheel. Or the Splat Roller. Whatever.

23. A brief tangent about Salmon Run

Can we talk about how Salmon Run is basically a horror game disguised as a co-op mode? Glowflies rounds at Profreshional +3 have given me genuine anxiety. I had a dream about Flyfish last week. TWO Flyfish. Anyway, puns:

24.

Don’t be a Smallfry, go for the big win! Although honestly, the little Smallfry buddy in Splatoon 3’s story mode is the best character in the entire franchise and I will not be taking questions.

25.

He’s a real squid-pro-quo kind of player. Helps you hold mid, expects you to watch the flank. Fair deal.

26.

What do you call a nervous Inkling? Squid-ish.

27. The character pun gauntlet

This is the part where I go through the idol characters and make puns about all of them because I have to. It’s the law.

Callie-ing all squids to battle! Marie, oh Marie, we need to win! Those two are freebies. The Squid Sisters basically named themselves for wordplay.

28.

Marina-ted in victory after a 100x battle.

This is one of my favorites. It works on multiple levels because Marina literally marinates in the music production booth and I refuse to believe that wasn’t intentional on Nintendo’s part.

29.

That game was a real Pearl of a match. Short, loud, and somehow it won.

30.

Frye-day is the only day I play Splatoon. That’s a lie. I play every day. But Frye-day sounds better.

31. Shiver me timbers

Shiver me timbers, that was intense! Yeah okay, this one was already a phrase before Splatoon 3 existed, but they named a character Shiver so they were ASKING for it.

32.

Big Man, big win. Ay! (You have to read the “Ay!” in his voice or it doesn’t count.)

33.

I’m feeling Judd-gemental about that last play. Specifically about the person who threw a Fizzy Bomb at their own feet. Judd saw that. Judd is always watching.

Side note, does anyone else think it’s kinda dark that a cat judges the outcome of what is essentially territorial warfare? No? Just me? Moving on.

34. Cap’n Cuttlefish always has a good tale.

A tail? A tentacle? Both work. None of them are great. I’m including this purely out of obligation to the old man.

35.

This game is ink-escapable once you start. I bought Splatoon 1 in 2015 and I have not known peace since.

36. The deep cut (pun intended)

Why did the Tenta Missile user have no friends? Because everyone was already avoiding them in real life too.

Not really a pun. More of a public service announcement.

37.

I need to ink-crease my swim speed. Three subs of Swim Speed Up and I still feel like I’m moving through honey. Ranked is suffering.

38.

“I’m just a kid, but I’m also a squid!”, me, a 28-year-old adult, to my coworkers who did not ask.

39. One I’m genuinely proud of

My friend told me Splatoon isn’t a real competitive game. I told him that’s a kraken take.

Get it? Kraken? The special from Splatoon 1? Instead of “cracking?” I’ll be accepting my comedy award via mail, thanks.

40.

Let’s get this octo-party started!

41.

I’m feeling octo-mistic about Side Order. That DLC was genuinely one of the best roguelike experiences I’ve had and it came from a game about cartoon squids shooting paint. Life is weird.

42.

That was an octo-ward moment when I accidentally splatted myself with my own Curling Bomb.

43. Rapid fire octo round

• He’s a real octo-pusher, always going for the objective
• Octo Expansion? More like Octo Expensive because it cost me my sanity
• I’m octo-pining for the days when Inner Agent 3 didn’t haunt my dreams

44.

That was a splat-second decision and it was the WRONG one. I super jumped to spawn. During overtime. In Rainmaker. My team will never forgive me and honestly they shouldn’t.

45. My aim is splat-on today

Good Instagram caption for when you actually pop off. Screenshot the 15-kill game. Post this. Accept the likes. You earned it.

46.

Don’t be a splat-sport when you lose. Disconnect gracefully. (I have never once disconnected gracefully.)

47.

He’s got a splat-titude problem. You know the type, spams “This Way!” sarcastically after every wipe.

48.

Why do Inklings make terrible secret agents? Because they always leave ink-riminating evidence.

OKAY. This one. This is the one. I don’t care if nobody else thinks it’s clever, I thought of it in the shower and literally got shampoo in my eyes because I was too busy being proud of myself.

49. Niche corner (casual fans look away)

You ever have your Tacticooler placed and nobody drinks from it? That’s not a pun, that’s just pain. But also: I’ve been telling people to “drink responsibly” in Splatoon and it’s the closest I’ll get to a Tacticooler pun so I’m claiming it.

50.

Booyah back or we’re not friends. This isn’t a pun either. It’s a boundary.

51.

I’m a squid-spert at this game. Specifically at dying within three seconds of spawning. Expertise comes in many forms.

52.

Woomy!

That’s it. That’s the pun. It’s not a pun. It’s a lifestyle.

53. The Tableturf one nobody asked for

I spent three hours playing Tableturf Battle and all I got was this card-iac arrest from the stress. Idk if anyone even plays Tableturf anymore but the pun stays.

54.

Don’t ink-sult my painting skills! I covered 1,200 points of turf and I will be respected.

55. The one for Splatfest veterans

Every Splatfest, I pick the wrong team. At this point I’m con-fest-ently on the losing side. Yeah, that’s a stretch. I’m aware. The “fest” is doing a LOT of heavy lifting in that word.

56.

“I told my teammate to let’s ink about our strategy before rushing in.”

“Did they listen?”

“They super jumped directly into four enemies.”

“So no.”

57.

My gear is always fresh to death. Literally, I die a lot but I look incredible doing it. The Annaki jacket stays ON during ranked.

58. The Grizzco overtime pun

Salmon Run has taught me that the real Golden Eggs were the friends we made along the way. Nah, I’m kidding. Give me those eggs. MR. GRIZZ NEEDS THOSE EGGS. (We know why now. We know what he wanted them for. Still haunts me.)

59.

Don’t get tide down by the competition. Swim free. Literally, you’re a squid, you can swim through ink, use the mechanic, PLEASE, I’m begging my solo queue teammates.

60.

What do you call an Inkling who’s really good at puns?

Ink-orrigible.

61. Bonus round because I can’t stop

I’m feeling splat-tisfied with this list. Not every pun was a winner. Some of them were Clash Blaster-level annoying, low effort, high splash damage. But that’s kinda the point.

He’s got an ink-ling for victory. And honestly? Same. See you in the lobby. Booyah. 🦑